You cannot change or control other people. The choice is up to you !!

The idea that you cannot change or control other people is crucial in school  leadership and personal growth. Instead, focus on what you can control—your reactions, attitudes, and behaviors. Here’s how this concept plays out in leadership:

1. Control Your Own Reactions

You can't dictate how others think or act, but you can control how you respond. If someone is negative or resistant, focus on maintaining your own calm, positive demeanor. This helps you lead by example, showing your team how to handle adversity constructively.

2. Influence Through Example

Rather than trying to change people directly, inspire them with your actions. When you model resilience, empathy, and accountability, you encourage others to adopt those same qualities. Influence is much more effective than control in shifting behaviors and mindsets.

1. Identify the Signs of Learned Helplessness

If you’re hearing phrases like, “We’ve already tried that,” “There’s no point,” or “It’s out of our hands,” you may be facing Learned Helplessness in your team. This mindset often develops after negative experiences, leading somme staff members to believe their actions are futile.

Recognising these symptoms early allows you to take steps to counteract them and move toward a more constructive culture.

2. Acknowledge the Problem and Address It

It’s important to call out Learned Helplessness without blaming or intimidating your team. Acknowledge their frustrations with empathy, while offering a clear path forward. Use language that shows understanding but also encourages action:

• "It might seem difficult, but we can overcome this together."

• "I realise this feels challenging, but there’s a way forward."

By framing the issue this way, you make it clear that their sense of helplessness is holding them back, and that you believe progress is within reach.

3. Establish Clear Expectations

Unclear expectations often lead to poor performance and increased feelings of inadequacy. When staff members  are unsure of what’s acceptable, they’re less likely to manage themselves effectively. Ensure that your team fully understands their responsibilities from the outset, and provide regular feedback—not just when problems arise, but when things are going well.

This builds confidence and strengthens the link between communication and positive outcomes.

4. Support Without Taking Over

A common leadership mistake is stepping in to solve a problem for staff. While it may seem helpful, doing so reinforces feelings of inadequacy and a lack of trust. Instead, focus on giving them the resources, tools, and guidance they need to succeed on their own.

By encouraging independence, you empower your team to tackle challenges with confidence. Sometimes, all they need is reassurance—telling them “You can do this” can have a significant impact.

5. Encourage Creative Thinking and Stretch Goals

Many teachers and staff get stuck in routine thinking, limiting their potential for creative problem-solving. When they feel free to explore new ideas, they’re more likely to overcome limitations they may have imposed on themselves.

6. Involve the Team in Goal-Setting

When your staff are part of the goal-setting process, they feel a sense of ownership and responsibility for their progress. By allowing your team to help establish targets, you motivate them to see themselves as capable of achieving more. This shared accountability can shift the focus from stagnation to forward momentum.

7. Promote Solution-Oriented Thinking

When facing obstacles, encourage your team to explore potential solutions. Ask thoughtful questions that guide them toward understanding the root of the problem and developing new approaches. Even if you know the answer, hold back from giving it right away—helping them arrive at their own solutions fosters critical thinking and problem-solving skills.

This method empowers your team to think proactively, turning challenges into opportunities for growth.

8. Focus on a Positive Vision

As a leader, you can help your team see difficulties as surmountable by painting a clear, positive vision for the future.

When your team expresses doubt or negativity, remind them of the potential for success and the role they can play in achieving it.

It’s Your Leadership Choice

Shifting the culture of a workplace is a leadership decision that requires self-awareness, clear communication, and resilience. By focusing on how you lead and how you empower your team, you create a space where negative patterns like Learned Helplessness can be replaced by a proactive, solutions-driven mindset.

With your guidance, your team can see themselves as capable and resilient, leading to a more productive and engaged school environment.